The Lessons of
hCG Before and After Pictures ...
(Patty's Story) When I look at ME in my hCG before and after pictures I am startled by new realizations and one of them is that the thoughts running through this person's head are as different as though they were two different people!
I remember the moment that each one this photos were taken clearly, and as I look at the 250 lb me in these hCG before and after pictures I recall again the surprised jolt I was accustomed to feeling upon seeing my pics - I always seemed to look heavier in the photos than I felt like I really looked. Is that a testament to our extraordinary ability to adapt our perception since, after all reality is simply a matter of perception. Or, is it our protective penchant for complete and utter denial, I ask myself?
What Thoughts are Running Through These Two Minds in these hCG Before and After Pictures?
In my pre-hcg pic I remember my politically correct photo poses - crossing my ankles to give me what I hoped was a more slimming silhouette, lifting my chin to diminish my double chins. And later cropping my triple E width clunker shoes out of the image (my feet could only bear my extra hundred pounds with the help of orthopedic looking shoes).
As I look at these hcg before and after pictures I poignantly remember always wearing men's extra large shirts over everything (I had stopped being able find blouses larger than 3X Plus Size) and NEVER talking them off no matter how overheated I got for mortal fear of showing my upper arms. I hadn't tucked in a shirt for years and imagined the loose, breezy "boyfriend shirt" look was stylish while cleverly hiding most of what Bridgette Jones would refer to as my "wobbly bits".
I remember those jeans; they weren't really jeans at all but some kind of pull-on, stretchy pretend-denim material (I could never have suffered the waistband discomfort of a real pair of jean's); and I remember wearing them every day, year after year, until they were so thread bare from the inner thighs rubbing together that they split open. Thinking of that also reminds me of putting baby powder on my thighs several times a day so that they would not painfully chaff so much. I had given up wearing skirts a long time ago for this reason.
I even remember choosing that necklace for its imaginary elongating effect, since all my necklaces had long since stopped fitting around my chubby neck. Wistfully I had also packed away all my pretty rings, for all of them were about 2 ring sizes too small.
I'm recalling all of this and more, as I look at this picture And the saddest part about remembering is that I have to acknowledge that in this pre-hcg pic is not even me at my heaviest. I was about 250 lbs here, and went on to gain another 30 lbs. This was one of the last pics taken of me in street clothes. Not long after this the summer heat drove me into cool, baggy cotton pajamas that didn't bind so mercilessly, and from then on I lived night and day in pajamas. (Look! Today I fit into one leg of those pajamas!). Yes, I am serious, I spent the next couple of years in those pajamas, working from home and rarely leaving the house. And, of course, refusing to have my picture taken.
THE MENTAL METAMORPHOSIS OF LOSING WEIGHT
Remembering the thoughts that were going through my head as that photo of my post-hcg me was being snapped suddenly makes me aware that those thoughts are in their own way just as startling as those pre-hcg pic thoughts, and it's challenging to even try to articulate the shock into words.
Yes, of course I feel lighter, in every sense of the word. I feel like I have taken years off my age, maybe even decades. Although unquestionably I look like I feel -- happier, healthier, less self conscious, more confident, mobile and energetic, what I see still comes as a shock to me.
One shockingly enlightening self-realization is that here I am, still in pants -- and understanding why! I intuitively know that even though the colors and fabrics are more feminine and form fitting it will be a little while longer while I get accustomed to my new slimmer body and gain the courage to try more revealing female clothing. After all it's been ten years of being over 200 lbs, and longer since I left the correct "weight and height proportionate" column.
THE FIRST BIG LESSON THESE PICS TAUGHT ME?
Is that I've still got some self esteem practicing to do!
A second realization is equally shocking to me because it stands out in such stark contrast to the thoughts that were running through my mind in the earlier pic.
And that's THE SECOND BIG LESSON - I feel FREE! Not just free from the prison of fat I'd been living in, but I feel free to be me! Free to pick anything out of my closet that expresses me and wear whatever I felt like, because everything fits! Including the FREEDOM to wear any shoes I actually like.
Free to have fun in my body, and peace being me. Free from dieting and obsessing about my weight. Free from stressing my mind and burdening my body and my life.
Free to look forward to my healthy, energized and, dare I say, sexy future!
And those are just some of the wise lessons I learned from my hCG before and after pictures!
Have you taken your "before" pic yet? Don't wait to get around to doing it, your hcg before and after pictures will both be a master teachers to you on so many unimagined levels.
For Patty's "official" hCG Before and After Pictures click here.
What did You Learn from
Your Before and After Pics?
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